...seen through a slightly smudged, secondhand pair of rose-tinted glasses

Sunday, 26 January 2014

Smiler

Do you smile at random strangers? I do; quite a lot as it goes. If I catch someone's eye when I'm walking along the street or standing in a queue I'll invariably smile - sort of my default setting, or a nervous habit?  Anyway, it's a friendly thing to do….isn't it?

So there I was the other day, waiting to get on the train, and as the doors opened and people stepped out I went into automatic smile mode - not inane grinning, just smiling - when an older gentleman walked past me saying,

'...you really shouldn't laugh at me like that.'

In a very loud voice.

Well, that truly shattered my cheery little bubble. I was so surprised no words came out. Nothing. How had that gone so wrong?

And I wasn't flipping laughing.

So off he went, convinced he'd put some rude woman in her place, while I got on the train in a bit of a daze thinking WHAT'S THE POINT?

This brings me rather neatly onto another of my habits - dwelling - I've talked about this before: I am a big time dweller….. so of course I sat and stewed.

'Safer to be glum? Is my smile weird?' (must check), but mostly I was kicking myself for not saying anything to him; for standing there like a lemon. I'd been ticked off for no good reason and hadn't done a thing about it.

Really hate that.

I spent most of my train journey thinking about it, which is mad, because there's some seriously important stuff going on at the moment. But this is what I do - dwell on totally pointless trivia rather than focussing on things that matter.

Maybe it's some kind of subconscious defence mechanism; filling my head with petty pettiness to block out proper worries that could hurt more than just my feelings.

Maybe I'm trying to justify being a hopeless dweller.

Wish though I'd stop wasting my time on grumpy old strangers.


16 comments:

  1. Ignore... Don't let it put you off spreading niceness, you will always get some grumpy sod! I always always used to smile at people until we moved abroad, both here and in Denmark it can be taken as a sign that you fancy a person which could be slightly awkward.... :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. …I'd be in all kinds of trouble! :)

      Delete
    2. Being a friendly "southern gal", I tried that smiling stuff in Rotterdam 35 years ago and a young gentleman followed me home. I finally scared him away by shouting "police." I learned back then to keep my smiles to myself. It is safer!!! Linda@Wetcreek Blog

      Delete
    3. yikes! That's not good! Seems a smile can say many things. More than you bargain for sometimes. Shame though :(

      Delete
  2. Don't stop smiling Tracey. Blimey, there was a cheerful man on my bus last night who was talking to anyone and everyone...he would have definitely appreciated a smile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's what we need! More cheery chattiness! Won't stop me smiling either…don't think I could even if I wanted to...maybe try to show less teeth though… :E

      Delete
  3. ...I'd be in all kinds of trouble! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. A smile never hurt anyone. Keep doing it and spread a little happiness!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm a random smiler too - and shall continue to do so, as should you - it makes the world go round! Ignore the man - his problem, not yours! X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know - annoyed I spent any time thinking about it, can't help myself! :\ x

      Delete
  6. What a horrible man - I'd have been upset, and dwelled on it for ages, too. Don't let it put you off smiling though, I think we need more open, happy people in our world! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. definitely! Glad I'm not dwelling alone! xx

      Delete
  7. Don't stop smiling! I do it too, and if one grumpy person can't take it in the way it's intended, well, don't let it knock you back. If everyone stopped smiling, the world would be a much shabbier and sadder place than it already is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. too true! though woke up this morning with a horrid cold so not feeling massively smiley today :(

      Delete