Showing posts with label army. Show all posts
Showing posts with label army. Show all posts

11.2.13

A Rubbish Valentine

... and that's what it is, but possibly an improvement on last year's homemade Valentine's day surprise, when I drew colourful hearts around a comedy potato. Yes, I really did. And if you can't quite picture it, why not take a look.
It seemed so right at the time, with the irish/potato thing going on, but I'm not sure now. To be fair I was still getting used to my husband being away, and he said he liked it. Bless him. Crazy fool.

This year's is complete trash, of the recycling variety - made out of my son's old birthday cards..

collage heart

Now I did ask first, but he still had a bit of a moment when he saw them cut to pieces, so had to quickly divert his attention with some mini chocolate eggs.

I got the idea from an art show the children watch called Totally Rubbish. It's the sort of kids telly I can sit through - mostly about making things from stuff people often throw away. There was an artist called Robi Walters on this particular show who made the most amazing collages using petal shaped pieces of card, cut out of packaging. He certainly inspired me, and that's when I started eyeing up the birthday cards...

I also found a few glittery old christmas ones, and then cut them into strips, and cut the strips into petal shapes.

It took a while to get my petals looking roughly the same - a pretty monotonous job, but I got into a kind of rhythm and just did a few strips when I had a minute. You need A LOT, and it's also a good idea to sort them into colour piles as you go along. My heart is predominantly red, but there's quite a bit of blue, pink, yellow and gold going on too.

I glued little red squares, cut out of a sugar puffs packet around the outline of the heart, and started sticking the petals on, overlapping them a little.




The collage takes time, so again I did the gluing when I could - quite often in front of the telly, and then left a bread board on top of the heart until the next spare moment.


I'd been following the outline, but it started to look a little wonky - so instead drew ever decreasing heart shapes inside, and used them as a guide until there was a tiny one left in the middle. Well sort of in the middle..!


Just the right size for a teeny heart with a diamante from last year's card. It travelled far that card, so it's pretty special.


And I'm going to be able to give my husband his collage heart on the 14th, which makes a change! He is weekly commuting at the moment, but turns out he will be home on thursday. It'll be our second Valentine's day together in 12 YEARS of marriage. Not that I'm counting or anything...

How rubbish is that?


Linking with Lakota's Ta-dah! Tuesday 

3.12.12

Soft landing and a calendar cushion

Home life has settled down at last, after all the excitement of him getting back. The days now have a gentle rhythm to them. Not to say there haven't been a few bumps along the way....the morning routine went a bit haywire at the start - I mean, you'd think another pair of hands would speed things up during the mad rush before school, well not straight off as it turns out, we were all over the place! Things eventually calmed down by the end of the first week - just needed time to get used to each other again.
And I have to admit, I am still adjusting to having company 24/7 (as lovely as it is), after being on my own for so long. From nothing to all and back. The story of my life. Maybe a post for another day?

I can see my husband slowly unwinding too. As well as being relentlessly tough, his year away was so regimented and ordered - everything done pretty much straight away and people listened....realisation's dawning that if he expects things to go like clockwork here, he'll drive himself insane!
And the house is lit up like a belisha beacon. He seems to have forgotten how to switch a light off.

Talking of lights - sparkly, twinkly fairy lights - I'm going all out this christmas, no holding back! It's going to be christmas with jingly bells on and lashings of multi-coloured glitter.  I was such a misery last year as he'd just gone to Afghanistan - time to make up for it I think. So to kick things off I made an Advent calendar cushion...


Not sure it'll catch on, but any project that makes a dent in my huge wool supply is fine by me. The cushion's made out of an old jumper I couldn't bring myself to throw away (so soft, but holey - sooo soft though)

This is such a quick and easy knitted cushion cover, and the sleeves make a good pair of fingerless gloves. Old patterned christmas jumpers would be great for covers, wouldn't they?


The tree itself is a large knitted triangle and the little square pockets were quick to do, but the numbers took a while. Don't look too hard - I chain stitched them on and they're all kinds of sizes.


I put some chocolate buttons wrapped in tin foil in each pocket, and the cushion is now sitting at the end of my daughter's bed. It's going to be a bit of a test - more self-control needed than one hanging on the wall or safely on top of the fridge. We'll see...

But this has got to be my favourite Christmas thing so far. It's the picture my 5 year old drew at school for those cards you feel under a great deal of pressure to buy, you know the ones I mean?

Poor old fairy.

Ouch!

17.11.12

Day 363 - Farewell for now...

I've been feeling all over the place this past week - tired, excited, sensitive, impatient, relieved - a familiar old cocktail, as the final days of the Tour tick by. It really doesn't take much to set me off either - Remembrance Day was a given, I blubbed through bits of Children in Need, but it can be anything as random as a late-night documentary about the Bee Gees...yeah, it's a Tragedy, I have no emotional filter at the moment. I've also eaten my own bodyweight in chocolate.

My tolerence level has tailed off too, though that's been happening for a while, slowly eroded through the year. I have joked (half serious) that if anything was going to tip me over the edge, it wouldn't be major, but something pathetically trivial, like a hand towel, or clothes on the floor, or not shutting a door... As mad as that sounds it's the drip, drip effect of living with three little people who know exactly how to do all the things I ask them to do EVERY DAY - but simply choose not to bother. Crushing frustration would have done for me in the end!

But here I am on day 363 - can you believe it? Honestly I can't sometimes. When I look back at my day one post I remember so clearly how I felt - the heaviness, the feeling of responsibility, the loneliness, the worry. And my heart goes out to the wife who's husband takes over from mine, and all the families waiting for their loved ones to come home from Afghanistan.

As much as I'm longing for him to be back, it's a little daunting too. I've been running the show for 12 months and though I'm desperate to share the load, it's harder to let go than you might think.  I want more than anything for it to be perfect when he gets home, but know from experience I can be a little prickly... Emotions are close to the surface - all it takes is an innocent comment about the kids table manners or tv habits or something like that, and out it tumbles. I can take stuff the wrong way - as a criticism of how I've been doing things.  I'm writing this down in the hope I'll remember and stop myself over-reacting, because I know, just as I'm proud of him, he also has enormous respect for what I've been through.
Life is not on an even keel for either of us. And I have to bear in mind how hard it is for him coming back into my space and being a dad again. It will take time for us both to find our level and work as a team. I know that.

And then there's blogging. I hadn't a clue what I was doing at the beginning - like many things in my life I started with loads of enthusiasm and not a great deal of knowledge. I didn't tell a soul about it for a few months. I thought I'd blog about how I was feeling, and I do sometimes, but on the whole I write about other things now, other interests, because that's what I want to do, and I've actually found this distracts me from thinking about how I'm feeling. It's stopped me dwelling so much.

Through the ups and downs blogging has given me a focus. Something that's mine. There have been times, very late at night when I've wondered what on earth I'm doing, but then I sit back and remind myself of the things I have achieved this year.  Like the art exhibition and selling some paintings for the first time; writing again and enjoying it; getting my 2 minute silence poem on the Forces Poetry website; rediscovering my love of crafting and discovering a new love for photography. These are all really positive things, things that wouldn't have happened without the blog. And getting one of my crafty posts featured on Mumsnet recently was the icing on the cake.

But the best bit has been you. Thanks so much for stopping by. And it does make me feel a little emotional writing this, because I had no idea how much the social side of blogging would mean to me 12 months ago. I remember reading posts about 'spreading the blogging love' when I first started and thinking, WHAT?? But I get it now, comments do make the blogosphere go round.  I have met some wonderful, talented people this year, and I am so grateful to them for their support and friendship. They've helped me through a few dips along the way, and I just want to say the biggest, most heartfelt THANK YOU. I am so glad our paths have crossed.
Told you I'm a mushy old fool at the moment!

I'm going to take a break from blogging while we get back into the swing of family life. And if I keep going I'll also have to come up with a new name, because I won't be Single Married Mum anymore.

So, farewell for now, take care, and hope to see you soon xxx

15.11.12

Day 361 - Behind every picture...

Catching falling leaves and squelching through muddy puddles; a tree-covered hillside peppered with russets, reds and golds...

WISH I had my camera!

I've thought that more than once over the last month or so (my phone one is useless)
There really are the most spectacular photos, just waiting to be taken at this time of year. I don't always catch what I see, but on a bright day when the low sun brings out the richness of the autumn colours, I want to try.
It's as if the landscape has been perfectly lit for a shoot, and Mother Nature's saying, 'LOOK!' 
And that's a wise idea seeing as these glorious days can be few and far between. Probably makes us appreciate them more though. Autumn is such a rollercoaster of a season.

I was so glad I remembered my camera for our trip to beautiful Dore Abbey which isn't far from us.


Funny how I've never really noticed the large tree right next to the Abbey - hard to miss now, glowing among the ancient gravestones. So peaceful...

Dore Abbey

...though no time to enjoy the peace, because you see the shadows by the porch? My little lovelies were there having a great time, squealing and bouncing up and down on the springy wheelchair ramp. And that's what I remember when I look at these. Isn't it often the way?

But the photos I've taken this autumn have a deeper meaning too - they'll always remind me of the countdown to my husband coming home. They'll remind me of the emotion, relief, pride and total joy I feel now, knowing our year apart is almost up, and that we've all got through it, safe and sound.

The mist is lifting. Finally. No more limbo or life on hold.
The start of a new exciting chapter.

I'm linking up with Older Mum (in a muddle)'s wonderful One Week project - catching a flavour of autumn '12 in words and pictures

one week

9.11.12

Day 355 - Kabul calling

Sometimes when I'm babbling away on the phone to my husband about the kids, bills, or the retired vicar popping by when I was in my pyjamas; it's very easy to forget he's far away, doing what he's doing. I've seen the odd photo, but I can't really picture where he is, or imagine what his days are like. The gulf between his world and mine is so vast. The more I think about it, the bigger the gulf gets. I know my husband works seven days a week, that his job takes up every waking minute, and I'm often amazed by how he seems to able to switch out of all of that on the phone to me.  I couldn't do it.

Over the year he's managed to phone home every two or three days, which is pretty good. Much better than the last 6 month tour 3 years ago, when calls were erratic. I remember not hearing from him for 10 days during the toughest, darkest part of that tour. Afghanistan dominated the news then, fighting was intense and there was so much sadness. It was the longest 10 days of my life.

It's been very different this time - he's not on the frontline and I haven't worried as much between calls. But I never ask when he's going out. I'd rather not know.

Our phone chats haven't always gone smoothly though - he has a  knack of ringing at a really bad moment - when I'm trying to get the kids to do their homework, eat, or I'm just about to head out the door. There's never a perfect time is there.

I always feel guilty after one of these distracted calls, and I can't ring him back - I have to wait for him to ring me, or email him to call home. We rarely talk at night because Afghanistan is a few hours ahead. If he wants to catch up with the kids, it tends to be breakfast time, which is bedlam, or early teatime/bathtime (even worse!) Weekends are usually best.

I know the kids have missed their dad desperately and are so excited about him coming home - but they can be totally useless on the phone, especially if there's something else going on. He's pretty realistic about this, but it must be hard.

That's why once in a while I've asked the kids to write or make things to send to him. The eldest usually writes a letter, the youngest draws a picture and the one in the middle does a bit of both.


I often get a lump in my throat when the kids show me what they've done. So heartfelt, loving and honest. And I know getting messages like this have meant the world to their dad over the last 12 months.

23.8.12

Day 284 - Time Out

It's good to be a spectator for a bit,
to slip off to the sidelines
and watch the kids enjoy
time with their dad.

And I like this watching;
not being on watch.
Now I can stop 
anytime
Switch off,
off duty.

I'm going to make
the most of it;
of being the support act.
And when they forget,
my 3 favourite little words
at the moment?
'Ask your dad.'

15.8.12

The Photo Gallery: Emotion


I love this photo. In many ways it's fairly ordinary. But it gets me every time.
I took it when my husband was last with us in May. Just before he went back to Afghanistan.

It triggers such a mixture of emotions:
a perfect family day by the sea;
how much I miss him;
how much the kids miss him;
how much easier it is to share.

And it reminds me how much I wish he'd been here last week when the youngest had her scary bike tumble; and how a wave of crushing panic made me realise I'm closer to unravelling than I'd like to think.

I know all these feelings are probably heightened at the moment, because in a few days he'll be back with us for a bit. So, as always happens about now, my defences slip, I'm more emotional and time seems to be slowing down...

Just a few more days and I can stop feeling like I'm holding my breath.


The Gallery theme this week is Emotion.

14.3.12

Day 115 - 2 minute silence


We join a line at a bus stop
No ordinary queue.
A small gathering of strangers,
all here for the same reason;
to remember six young men 
none of us knew,
killed in a place we can't imagine.

Their pictures pinned to the shelter wall;
smiling, confident, brave.
A quick snapshot
that every soldier knows
might be his last.
The one we see when they are gone.

Two minutes of silence,
Two minutes for them.
I steal a glance at my eldest,
head bowed, just nine;
Half the life 
of the youngest soldier.

I think of the family's grief and pain,
the sadness that must weigh them down
and engulf everything.
 I think of the hard road ahead;
the gaps that will never close.

And I pray in these darkest hours
there's some comfort in knowing 
they died with friends,
doing a job they loved.

However hard to understand.

The church bell breaks the silence;
time moves on again.
The kids walk slowly to the car,
my thoughts caught in a distant place
as they count the days till daddy's home.